30M Dealing with desperation which I need to avoid :(

I am a 30M phd student, currently enrolled in a top university for PHD in AI. Last year, I fell head over heels in love with someone with a friend. After hanging out with her for a few months, I asked her out on a formal date, which she declined because she did not want to date during her phd, which I attributed as soft rejection primarily. I also fell into deep limerence, which shaved off a few months of the progress in my phd

I tried to date around, and I might have gone 3-5 dates last year, which didn't progress any further. A lot of the women in the talking stages which didn't materialized because they live in metro city and I middle in the nowhere.

I am not in healthy position to date because I feel desperation has started to creep in. Its very subtle but its there always vowing to do damage to whatever has been going in my life right now . This phase is so dangerous and isn't a healthy position to date at all . I also got in the situationship with someone which again didnt helped my emotions at all

Loneliness is not a issue at all, for I feel people like my presence and can ask out anyone to hangout . I am friends with several women and men friend and often find people to call them

My mother knows my struggle and asking to find people in Arranged marriage which i don't want too because I am not financially stable for couple of years even if I like someone there . It also dosent help that I am hopelessly romantic. I am not very sure about this so suggestions welcome

My main motive in life is to be stoic, like UPSC preparation. Work on my thesis and graduate asap after which hopefully I would be in much better position to look out for life partner. I might have wasted about half an year dealing with situations hips, limerence, travelling for dates. I don't want to do that now otherwise my degree would be delayed. What worked for you to remain stoic?